Have you ever had a girlfriend who became different every time she was in a new relationship? With her last boyfriend, she was into deep-sea diving, but with this new guy, she’s pouring her energies into knowing every detail of the upcoming Van Gogh exhibit and all the pieces to be on display. You never know who she will become, a wild and crazy social butterfly, quiet and timid, or a snobbish sophisticate. You shake your head as she transforms yet again while you ask yourself, how could she be so shallow? You could never behave the way she does … Or could you?

While I have never been known to have multiple personalities, I have found myself becoming partial to something while in a relationship, then once the relationship was over, never thinking about it again. Is it wrong to take an interest in the interests of your suitor? I don’t think so, but there is a problem if you feign interest so that he will like you more or you can win his approval.  

Pretending to be someone or something you’re not could have short-term benefits but reap long-term misery. Once you start the act, you have to keep it up--no matter how much it goes against the grain of your soul--or you risk losing the guy. Think about it. If you have to pretend to keep his attention, then does he really like you at all? Wouldn’t life be grand if the man you think is so wonderful thinks the same thing about you--I mean, who you REALLY are?

Maybe you don’t really know who you are, but each new man provides you an opportunity to try on a new hat. Beware. Living your life to meet the needs of what some man thinks you should be is a FAR cry from who you actually are. You were purposed, fashioned, and created in God’s image. Perfectly formed with intention. No man could ever dream elaborately or intricately enough to propose to you who you ought to be in the sight of God. A woman who walks confidently in who God created her to be is irresistibly attractive to any man with an ounce of good judgment—whether he knows God or not.  

One of the ways you can tell if he’s for you is if he’s into you. If you mask that from him, you may find out what he’s interested in, but you won’t know if it’s you. More often than not, it’s not sameness that attracts, but differences. What makes you different is what makes you attractive to one another. If you don’t know you—I mean really know you—take some time today to think about it and make a note. What would be on the list if you had to list the original combination of characteristics that make you you? Sister, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Truly, there is none like you! Walk in it and watch your life transform. 

What have you displayed an interest in that you aren’t that interested in after all? Whether you feel one with yourself or not, make an electronic or manual note of your unique combination of characteristics: your passions, likes, dislikes, and character traits. You are one of a kind. Step into that boldly!