I'll be honest. The only thing I know about starters and tune-ups is that they have something to do with cars. I can only assume the starter starts the car and that a tune-up makes everything sound good. Ha! I hope I'm not too far off … But if we are talking relationship starters and tune-ups, then I'm your girl!

Sometimes life surprises us, and we suddenly find ourselves in a position or place, unsure how we got there. Sometimes this is good, but most of the time, it's bad news--especially in relationships. Perhaps your job requires that you have a close working relationship with a male colleague. Over time, you become more & more familiar with each other until you realize that you've gotten too close. Now "it's complicated" because he is already involved in a committed relationship that he assures you is "already over." "Too complicated" to quit now, you stick around until he finally breaks ties, and now the two of you can begin your workplace love affair.

This starter is a lemon. The foundation is weak and crumbly, and now the two of you are planning to build a mansion on it. It may sustain the weight of the relationship for a time. Still, the time is coming when the foundation will be tested. I can almost guarantee that if it doesn't fail, you'll have to prop it up on crutches to prevent its demise … and you'll be dying inside the whole while.

You'll hear me say it over and over: Good solid relationships are hard work--even for two "made for each other." When you build a relationship on a faulty foundation of infidelity, dishonesty, selfish ambitions, control, lack of integrity, lust, etc., these same things will grow inside your relationship and eventually bring it to its knees.

Every good relationship requires a tune-up once in a while to assess where it's been, where it is, and where it wants to go. Setting this tone or foundation at the beginning of the relationship strengthens the partnership, provides accountability, and allows each of you to rise to any challenges.

Being proactive allows you to be prepared to handle anyone that may show up in your life. Be intentional and pre-determine your standards and values so that life doesn't happen to you but for you. You don't want to wind up on the back end trying to make a wrong situation right. Intentionality is the key. Take charge of your life by keeping your scheduled maintenance appointments. Spend some time with God, write down what He says you need in a relationship, and then run with it. It will be a beacon in the fog and help you bypass unnecessary misery.  

"Then the Lord answered me and said: 'Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it.'" ~Habakkuk 2:2 (NKJV)

"Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." ~Proverbs 29:18 (KJV)