Here’s a short excerpt from the familiar passage about the highly coveted “wife of noble character”:

 10 A wife of noble character who can find? 

   She is worth far more than rubies. 

11 Her husband has full confidence in her 

   and lacks nothing of value. 

12 She brings him good, not harm, 

   all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:10-12 (NIV)

So many of us who are familiar read Proverbs 31 numerous times over--usually in the context of measuring ourselves up against this superwoman and wondering how it is possible to be all these things. And although there may be some relief in discovering that this is most likely the description of a woman over her lifetime (not at any specific given time), the most telling, most foundational verse of all this passage occurs in verse twelve: 

“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”  

I bet you missed it, so let me bring it to your attention again.  

“She brings him good, not harm, ALL the days of her life.” (emphasis mine)

Did you get it this time? All the days of her life, she brings him good. All means all--not just her married days, but all her days. Meaning when she’s just a little girl, playing with dolls and dressing up. It means when she’s going through adolescence, enamored by her first real crush. It means when she becomes a teenager, and she’s exploring and experimenting with what it means to be a young woman. It means when she’s in her twenties and doing what she thinks “grown-ups” are supposed to do. It means when she’s in her thirties and working hard to make relationships work. And when she’s in her forties and fifties, and she’s afraid if she doesn’t settle or jump in with both eyes shut, she might not get a shot at this thing … 

Maybe you can relate … and perhaps you can’t, but what doesn’t change is that no matter what season of life you’re in, whether you are married, or you desire to be married someday, every decision you make is going to have an impact of some sort on your husband. In hindsight, married women will agree, but if you are not yet married, you have a unique opportunity to make adjustments in your life that can positively affect your future marriage.

Am I suggesting you live your life for a husband you don’t have? Not at all! I am suggesting that you set yourself up in such a way that you minimize the baggage. Everything you experience and allow in your life becomes part of who you are. Consider the future and the residue today’s decisions have on tomorrow. Will it bless you or create unnecessary drama? By honoring yourself and God, you automatically honor your husband. It’s a win-win. Who couldn’t stand a little less baggage?