Lone Dating

Whenever the subject of dating comes up, I am reminded of the significant role God wants to have in how we choose who to date, who to invest in, and ultimately who we decide to marry.

So often, people tend to put God in the back seat (or leave Him out altogether) when it comes to relationships, thinking that God is too ancient to have any relevance to dating in the 21st century. But the truth is, God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. In fact, God is more futuristic than any of us can imagine because He’s already seen the end of time … Quite frankly, it’s the attitude of man that’s pretty ancient.

The moral and social issues that we debate today are the same issues that plagued Ancient Babylon (infidelity, homosexuality, drug use, self-indulgence, and chaos). Things really aren’t that different; it’s just a different era.

With that said, God is absolutely relevant. He knows each of us individually so intimately that He knows the number of hairs on our heads and the secret longings of our hearts. God is outside of time, so time is an irrelevant factor in deciding whether He is relatable or not. The truth is, God wants you to have the very best in life and experience unspeakable joy. He is not interested in seeing you suffer or be frustrated with a life that He promised you could have more abundantly.

So, if God is not responsible for your lack of success in dating, then who does that leave? Of all that I know of God (and I’ll admit the more I learn, the less I realize I know), I am unfamiliar with a single promise in the Bible that is contingent on someone else needing to do something so that you can benefit. All of God’s promises are contingent upon what we do and believe individually. What we do and do not do directly reflects our experience with God. Maybe it’s time to examine your processes … Have you relegated dating success to chance, or have you decided to involve the One that knows best? Your dating life may slow down a bit as the options become less abundant, but when you get a viable option, it’s more likely to go the long haul and turn into something truly beautiful.

In the meantime, instead of asking God, “What’s taking so long?” or “Why aren’t there any quality men around?” ask God, “What could I be doing to experience more of the life you intended for me to have right now?” There is no lack of opportunities to improve oneself or grow in skills, talent, wisdom, or intimacy with God. What if the man God has for you is so fabulous that you need a little more preparation in order to match up well? I’d be up for that! This is not the time for passive waiting. As with most of your life, this should be a very progressive season for you. When you partner with God in this dating season of your life, you get the satisfaction of being content as you are and content when you enter into a serious relationship. Your status will no longer be indicative of how much joy you experience. Who doesn’t want that? 

Has dating been a game of chance for you? How could you grow if you weren’t so busy going on lots of “first dates?”